Dreams

Currently Listening to: Broken Social Scene
"Almost Crimes"

Lately I have been having really strange, vivid and often terrifying dreams. I don't usually believe in "signs" or any of that nonsense, but they all seem to have very similar themes. I woke up from a very short nap today in tears because of something that just seemed so real.

I was at my parents house about to leave for work and my step dad was screaming at my mother for no apparent reason. He started to scream at me, telling me I'm a fuck up and will never amount to anything. I told him "Fuck You" and he started throwing dishes in rage. He mentioned something about hurting my mother. I told him that if he ever laid a finger on my mother, it would be the end of him. he came running up onto me trying to attack me. It was very easy for me to hold him back, but I kept hearing my mom screaming in the background at us to stop. The dream then went to holding my mom crying telling her that she deserves so much better.

I quickly woke up to this in tears. I never, ever want to see my mom crying like she did in my dream ever. She never had an easy life. There are so many things that I can write about that have changed her life for the worse, but I choose not to, for it would only upset me and put me in a horrible mood.

I wish everything was better for you mom. I really do.

As for my step dad. He does have an anger problem, but has never touched my mother or myself. I know deep down he is a good person, but its those kinds of dreams that make me forget...

I feel weird about posting this, but I feel it is somewhat necessary. I have been in a weird mood lately and I think posting this will help me get over it..